Still nothing…

I was hoping I'd never have to talk about this ever but for some reason my mind has galloped like a shiny black horse to a time when I was so obsessed with WHAM, that I wrote them a letter and asked if I could sing in their band!  I hide in humiliation.  Needless to say, their reply hasn't reached me...yet!  And when it does, I'm going to send them back a stinking response on manners and appropriate fanmail response time!  What if I passed up every single work opportunity, waiting?  If I didn't wanna be tied down in case they said yes?  My life would be ruined.  I'd be an idiot with a ruined life!  Waiting for WHAM!  "Wake me up, before you learn how to respond to fanmail!"  THAT should have been their first big hit!  Not, "Wake me up, before you go!"  Why would I wake you up before anything when you can't even get that person who pretends to be you to reply to a letter I wrote almost three decades ago?  And I know you weren't singing to me George, although in my little heart, I believed that you were.  I'm just saying.  Last I checked, I wasn't an alarm clock.

What prompted that thought was a sleepwalking, redheaded skater, named Luther who turned into a rapper called DJ PJ when he was asleep.  Yes, yes, I was stuck watching Disney Channel again!  Like it’s not enough that I've been visited by Influenza!  But as I sit here, I'm grateful for what I have…saw on the news yesterday morning that some people were visited by Rabies.  I'm not even gonna joke about that.  I know you want me to but uh-uhhhh!  That wouldn't be me Rambling Responsibly!  That's serious.  THAT's something to write home about!  Although I wouldnt wanna receive a letter from anyone saying, "Heyyyyyyy, how have you been?  Me?  I'm just chilling.  In the hospital. With Rabies!"  I'd have to immediately wonder what the hell they're doing writing letters at a time like that and whether they carry their letter pad and pen wherever they go.  Obviously, that letter wouldnt come from George Michael and Andrew Ridgely of WHAM!  By now, we all know theyyyyyy don't know how to write letters! 

And then I'd remember how my parents named most of our dogs, Sheba!  We didn't know why, and it wasn't something any of us questioned at the time.  We would just be like, "Sheba?  Ok!  Did Lovey dye your hair while we were asleep?  Stretch your le....oh okay, you're Sheba the 3rd!"  They did single one out and named him Choonooks.  Maybe he threatened to give them Rabies. 

The doctor on tv said that all it takes is contact of saliva from an infected dog?  That's what you call a sick lick!  Hey, if you're like me, first thing you're asking yourself is why are you contacting your dogs saliva?  You'd have been better off contacting WHAM!  Since that type of contact results in ABSOLUTELY NOTHING!  There's JUST no scenario, that I can come up with that would convince me that contact with dog saliva is just part of your daily routine.  You don't need to kiss the dog, on the mouth?  Wave, it'll still wag its little tail and know that you're leaving!  If you're bitten, then I understand and I thought that that was the only way a human could be infected with Rabies. They didn't teach us that in school!  They didn’t teach us anything about Rabies in school actually.  I would have remembered if I'd forgotten that.  What they did decide to teach us was how to grow a bean.