Do you have a pet? I don't. My lack of patience limits me. My daughter is the pet lover in this abode, hence her obsession with the Lion King and naming her late dog, Tooloos after a french cat from Aristocats.
She had to have been five just turning six when Marie died...twice! It was a Saturday morning when Paige came sobbing into our bedroom, "Marie's dead!" Marie was the first of about six or seven birds that she'd have up to now. Snow lasted the longest.
While the light at the end of the comfort tunnel seemed to become brighter and brighter, her father told Lyle to then SECRETLY dispose of the dead bird? Mannnn?! Jussssss like you are right now? I was also falsley led to believe that the saga would there. Who would have figured that not only was it NOT the end, but it would turn out to be even more traumatising than her waking all full of five year old glee, rushing to Marie's cage to whistle a good morning to her, only to find that even for a Saturday, Marie looked a teeny bit too laid back.
I mean how long would it have taken to find a nice spot in the yard, get the spade out, dig a neat hole, lay Marie to rest, cover it, pat it flat with the back of the spade, plant some grass...okay, the grass planting was too far, but how long would it have taken to dispose of the bird in an appropriate fashion?
Obviously way too long for Lyle! All he did was pick it up, walk outside, swivel and then swing his arm like he was bowling for the national cricket team, and fling poor little feathery deceased Marie through the air onto the garage roof! As if she hadn't been through enough already! And in the spirit of true story telling, lemme be a little more specific, on the very EDGE of the garage roof. Unbeknown to Mr. Swing, Swivel and Release, he was being closely watched by a salivating black and white Jack Russell called Sadie. Sadie must have given birth to about 700 pups throughout her years, don't judge, just be nice...I know words that start with the second letter of the alphabet are flooding from your brain to your lips right now, but...don't! But each time she gave birth, she seemed to have shrunk somwhat. The same dog that if someone walked into the yard, would first do a lap around the house and THEN sniff around to see if it was an intruder! Pffffft! Absent for watchdog class, but first in line for go forth and multiply class! Unfortunately none of her litter army can help her now that she is being slow tortured in animal heaven by Marie and her bird gang called "The Ruffled Feathers" Sadie watched in the shadows as Lyle retreated into the house while she strutted deviously across the lawn, taking a moment here and there to sniff her own ass or scratch her rib, basically just trying to act natural! Sniffing her own ass was just her way of looking back, naturally of-course, to check whether Lyle was back in the house and that the coast was clear!
Our late little feathered friend however, was just about hanging from her toenail on the edge of the garage roof, and once Sadie reached the garage, Marie's toenail musta gave out!
Well? After just getting her settled down, she then skipped, she's a skipper, ask anyone, she then skips outside to turn to Sadie for support and love, to her absolute horror, Paige witnesses Marie's second death! She runs back in and starts screaming, "Sadie's eating Marie!!!!" Hysterics again! Sigh! And who would blame the poor child?
It was only then that we discovered that when Lyle was sent to dispose of the bird, he felt as though since under normal circumstances? She wouldn't get to feel and experience the soothing power of sunbathing dead on top of the garage roof, he'd very considerately give her the chance to now. Guess he figured that sunburn wouldn't be a major discomfort for her anyway!
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