Random Love

Woke up with a burning question today and because you can’t see me, I’m just gonna come right out and ask.  What's your favourite position?  Since it’s my blog and I'm the one asking the questions, I'll go first...legs crossed!  Even when I'm doing it at work.  It doesn't bother me who walks in, whose watching or whether or not it looks uncomfortable.  Be it on my bed, in the bath, the couch, on the kitchen counter!  Cross-legged is my ultimate SITTING position!  And now?  I'll give you a second to get your bearings after your eyes just scanned the room, self-conciously...as if your dirty mind left allllllllll it's windows wide open...heh-heh-heh-heh.  Shameful, I telya!

But now that the ice has been broken...welcome to my 24th blog entry and if it's your very first visit to my special space in Cyber City, I hope that it's not the last.  Like my wise man once said, why wait for Valentines Day to show your woman how much you love her?  It’s within that spirit that I randomly chose to celebrate my 24th blog entry.  Blog entries need love too you know.  Granted, you don't have to shower them with gifts, but a mere mention of how much you appreciate them taking the time to listen to you, the way they take your words and hold onto them forever?  Just sohhh touching!

Do you have plans for Valentines Day?  Next year?  The first thing you should do, is check the weather.  Especially if you're the picnic type.  Or the…dry type.  Unexpected rain could really just dampen the mood.  For me, ‘cause I don't get to see Geese for about 350 days of the year, I'd be happy just sitting and eating a bowl of cereal with him.  But for those of you who do get to see your significant other's daily?  I hope your big toenail falls off...on Valentines Day!  A-HEM!  No I don't!  I didn't mean that!  I didn't even TYPE that!  My thumbs have a mind of their own at times and because they don’t want to get into any kind of trouble, they just use me to do their dirty work.

Valentine's Day is way too commercialised now, isn't it?  And we women love that, don't we?  We love the mammoth amount of pressure put on our men to spoil us rotten on that particular day.  And then you wonder why he's developed stress disorders that only flare up in the second month of the year.  Meanwhile, both parties have been an equal fraction of the relationship everyday up to the 13th of February.  Once it hits midnight?  The scale then become so lobsided that it'd make a depressed Libran jealous…this is how it looks…O_.. 

Gone are the days of it being a card and a little heart chocolate from a secret admirer.  Close your eyes dreamily and envision it with me….You?  Spending the day wondering if he grew a set enough to come and at least talk to you.  Him?  Wondering how to grow a set enough to come and at least talk to you.  Just a wondrous day of potential growth. 

In the last couple of decades though, it’s become a card, a chocolate, flowers that have to be delivered to your workplace so that you can be the envy of the entire office, your hair and nails, lingerie, an outfit for the dinner he's paying for, a teddybear, and an all expenses paid trip away...and notice, I’ve put those in alphabetical order for you too, or else he is theeeee worst boyfriend / husband evVver!  “You don’t love meeee…you forgot the chocolate!  How am I supposed to feel appreciated and adored and honoured with just…just…a card, a teddybear, flowers that you had to deliver to my workplace so that I could be the envy of the entire office, an outfit for the dinner you paid for, my hair and nails, lingerie, and an all expenses paid trip away?  How?  How could you forget the chocolate?”

What about the fact that just the week before that, he sent you out to the spa for the day?  For you time.  But psssssssssst!  Come closer, I need to whisper.  Don’t wanna tip him off and then he knows we know…be careful, it may be a setup if a full body massage is included in the package.  Then there's a good chance that he might be trying to make sure that you're not mobile enough to care about Valentines Day.  So if, come the 7th of February?  He hands you a full body massage voucher?  Run away screaming and be thankful that you read my blog today.  Shew!  My shoulders tensed up just thinking about it.

But the world of trade has just taken a day that is meant to be celebrated with more appreciative gestures and put a very high price-tag on what should actually not leave men all through the land completely broke.  All in the name of love.  Blasphemous bastards!  I say, protest.  And really, I don’t actually know who’s side I’m on here.  I just know that the women are looking at me right now like…”Honestly, Traitor?  Do you actually have a vagina?”