Ghostly Gasps

Is it just me or does it feel like something or somebody is being a thief in the night?  Mmmmmmmm?  Mmmmmmmmm?!?!  Pinching hours of our sleep time!  Whyyyyyyyyy?  You can't build...a...a day?!  Pinch bricks!  You can do something with those!  It's as though we're awake for twenty-three hours and then asleep for one!  For some of us, that is true, and why would you do that to yourself?  Insomnia is no excuse!  You just like to go against the grain, don't you?  But for others, it just feels true.  I know I didn't fall asleep at 4am this morning!  It was still yesterday when I fell asleep.  Today is yesterdays's tomorrow.  On yesterday's tomorrow, I feel sohhhhh tired!  Like I told Geese?  There's something very wrong with sleep:awoke ratio!  So whoever is in charge of that?  Kindly correct it.  NOW!  Pleaaaase?  (eyelash flutter)!

Yes, I'm whining like a tied up four legged animal...or person, because I'm asking why a lot of times, and you whine when you ask something that starts with a "wh", like where, what, when and ofcourse why...that's how the word, whining, came about!  Like, "Whennnnn are you coming back, I miss you sohhhh much?"  Or. "Wherrrrrre can I buy more sleep time from, I’m still sohhhhh tired?"  Even, "Whyyyyyyy did you say my ass looks big in these jeans, now by law, I can’t speak to you for a week?"  But only if you say the "wh" words in a dragggggggging, nagggggggging fashion accompanied by a frown and on the verge of tears sadness.  Get it? 

Can't believe you didn't know that?!  SMH!  Where have you been?  I know, I know!  Same place as me ‘cause I didn't know that either.  I thought it up right this minute, and it sounds valid.  And you know what that means, don't you?  Yep!  All I need is for it to sound valid for me to take my word for it!  And that’s exactly what I’m going to do.  I shudder to think of myself as a teacher!  Not sure if mine would be considered good hands to be in!  Far as correct information.  And following what the textbook says.  I’d be sued on an on-going basis!  By the department and parents alike! 

Parent:  “Grrrrrrrrr!  Did you teach my daughter that if it sounds right, then it IS right?”

Teacher Stacey:  “who me?” 

Parent:  “yes!”

Teacher Stacey:  “Is there something WRONG with that?”

Parent:  “But the textbook says that Mandela was in prison for 27 years?  No 72 years!”

Teacher Stacey:  “I was having a bad day.  I knew it had a 7 and a 2 in it…I just forgot the order, so I taught it as I remembered it.  The man is free, what’s the big deal?  Least I’m not a lazy teacher.  I still teach.  Even if I happen to have forgotten all the facts.”

Talking about teachers.  On the way to school today, Damon starts telling me about what happens when a person is born with a veil?!?  "Ma? Do you know that ghosts are real?  People born with a veil can see dead people.  My friend’s aunty can see dead people on the road with things coming out their face?!?"  And if you’re walking on the road late in the night and you hear something?  You mustn’t look back, because it may be a black ghost, 'cause the good ghosts are white and the black ghosts are the demon ghosts and if they slap you, you'll die!"  I must have aged seven years, just in the time he took to tell me that.  As he went on, my frown lines reached levels of depth that my forehead has never ever experienced! 

I opened my mouth.  And, initially, nothing came out.  Until I finally said?  "WHOOOOO the hell is telling you all of this rubbish!!!!"  He says, "In Catechism class yesterday, we were learning about ghosts!"  More frowning and open mouthed gasps!  O_O!!  I had to do some damage control here!  Think on my feet!  No, on my ass, ‘cause I was driving and I don’t stand and drive!  So, I just said the first thing that came to mind, “Damon, number one?  You shouldn’t be walking on the street late at night.  You should be inside  (he giggles in agreement)…so no ghosts are going to be slapping you!  Second?  You believe and have faith in God?  You don’t have to worry about ghosts of any colour!”  

I then proceeded to tell him that my sister was born with a veil and she sees us.  Not ghosts.  I then told him that being born with a veil is a special thing but it doesn’t mean that you can see ghosts and dead people but he was adamant about his friends’ aunty.  Nothing I could do about that!  His friend must have been wayyyyy more convincing that I was.  I did tell him too that some have said that if you come home after twelve at night, you must walk into your house backwards.  His amused reaction to that?  I think I was successful in showing him that there is too much he said, she said, that he sees, she sees, going on!