I sat at my computer trying to make sense of some of them because…besides the fact that they're just. Senseless. It was tough for me to fathom that these are REAL services being offered but more importantly, that people have so little faith that they actually believe this stuff.
One of them, well alllllll of them say that you pay some person money, right? And he/she helps you with all different kindsa things. One of the things that two of these people can help you with? Issssss? Waiiiiiit for it.......................
"Hiring Rats that helps you financially." I've copied that out of there, word. For. Word. …………………………………………………………………………………………….. ………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………O_o………???????!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!????????????????!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!????????????!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! ………………. Rats traps and cheese? No? No more? Maybe the government has come up with a REE policy...and it's against the law to trap the little furry suckers...in your home. Like you can't kill the burglars in your home unless they kill you first. As if you invited them and then just all of a sudden became a bad host?! But anyway, yeah...remember to throw a punch ONLY once you're dead. Maybe our beloved government decided that rats would be a more useful part of society as financial advisors? Who trains them? I had to go to Damelin. And now I'm picturing a class full of rats studying finance. Calculating up a storm on their little rat calculators and writing in their little rat ledger books with their little rat pencils, so cute man, debiting the bank account and crediting the office equipment account! Maybe this man or woman gets Ratatouille to open a chef school and they get these Ratatouille graduates to set up restaurants in your yard and pay you rent?! That would be a form of financial help! I don't know? It could be any of these but I'm trying. SOHHHHHHHHH hard right now.
The other one? Ali and them always find these strange things too! From a different advert…."Vagina back to small size & dry." Uh-uhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!!!! Do not veer those see-ers of yours towards me. I say again, look not to me for an explanation for I am in rightful pain. It hurts in all the wrong places just thinking about that one. And just because I try to be fair, as I still sat there staring at my screen, my entire head tilted to the left because even as I copied THAT TOO, straight off the flyer? I was trying to check whether if I change position of my head…narrow my eyes…cause them to blur a bit and look THROUGH my screen? You know how you foolish you looked when you tried to see those 3D pictures some years back? Same as that…all I was trying to do is see if it'd read differently, but no. No. Doesn't. Didn't. It still read that once you leave there, you will have a small, dry vagina and you wouldn't have to wait long to start feeling as though you're carrying around the Sahara Desert. I was left with visions of dry, barren land and sandpaper. So I say? Good luck with that!
Moving. Right. Along. To Ali's favourite. "Stop the backing dogs!" And no, I didn't misspell that. They did. Truth is? I haven't a clue if they even mispelled that or not! Even though I know my way around a keyboard a lot more than most things? I studied it for a second, just to make sure. Hmmmmmmm? The common typing errors are hitting the buttons right next to, below or above, the ones you intended typing, but there is an entire row of letters on the keyboard between "r" and "c". So? Does that mean, they meant backing? Or does it mean that they just felt like…not backspacing. Musta been a Friday. I also don't feel like doing any extra shit on a Friday. Orrrrr maybe there are dogs out there that are the ones who are having issues with this? Gimme seven fresh bones and I'll sort out your problem. You will never have to deal with.....Dogs that run backwards again or...maybe they're backing dogs for the group, The Top Dawgs? Voices have been a bit off lately, and.....Ay I'm honestly grasping at straws here! Alllllllllllllllll of this know-how, but don't know-how to check spelling before placing ads. Tsk, tsk, tsk! And you have the audacity to ask people to believe that you can do more...complicated things? Like the financial rats? How about you go out and pay someone who knows how to, "Make words spell-check themselves?"
Sent via my BlackBerry from Vodacom - let your email find you!
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