No Dogs Allowed

I've now studied Grade 6 Mathematics for the third time. In my life. Was I born to be punished by academics? Isn't it enough that history has scarred me for life by way of instant amnesia? Or that I dropped Geography for fear of being slapped for yawning? Or chewing? Two natural human reactions to boredom and having something in your mouth?

That reminds me! Yesterday, Randyls bbm status was, "sick like a dog..." When I read it, it caused me to instantly question the world around me! It was THAT deep! Someone came up with that term and I'd love to know who it was! I use it myself at times, just like the rest of humanity does in all their different languages but whose dog was just always SO damn sick that it inspired a term that has now been used, generation after generation? Barking like a dog, I totally get. 'Cause dogs bark for a living! Just like we yawn and chew and should not be fearful of pain thereafter! But? Sick like a dog? I...I struggle. My frown lines deepen. My eyes narrow while my lips become lobsided like a sick dog...! Sicko! I'm sure the owner had the nerve to nickname it that too! Herrrre Sicko Sicko Sicko! Sit, Sicko! Sick dog! I'd be sick too if I had an owner like that! A dog somewhere should come up with a term for those types of owners. Those that make them sick and them come up with everlasting terms at their expense! It would be a sweet revenge for years and years of negative publicity!

I just realized! Dogs almost always seem to stroll, sometimes, sickly, draped in underwear! Into my blog posts! I'm gonna have to work on a sign! NOT ANOTHER DOG...IS WELCOME ON MY BLOG! And yessss, YES, for those of you who don't know my dark side! BWAAAA-HA-HA! I'm a poet, and my mum didn't know it....she was mortified! Not that I kept my talent to myself, but because I didn't keep my misery to myself! I should have reminded her that misery loves company but after she scolded me like I was two? I was afraid. And married! A big married galoot afraid of her mums anger over her miserable poetry! "You better stop writing those poems!" And my ex didn't help the situation EITHER! I tried to blame him. I raised my eyebrow closest to him and flung my head discreetly in his direction. He caught me and defended himself with, "At least I inspire you!" I almost bit my tongue. Now that I think of it, I should have put salt in his morning tea the next day but my jaw was still clenched from silent rage. I knowwww, I know that that shouldn't have stopped me 'cause no-one makes tea with a loose jaw, or just a jaw...their jaw...and I'm kicking myself right now for not thinking about it then! As hard as you can kick yourself laying face down on your bed! I did that at work once! Not...lay face down on my bed but I put salt in my co-workers tea when he was in a meeting! And nope, it was no mistake! I did it on purpose! He was acting like a BOSS and I had to show him who's the tea stirrer in the office! Nothing like watching someone NOT being able to react to something when it's practically impossible not to spray the client across from you with your first big, hot, salty sip! Victory was mine as I turned and walked out of the boardroom!

My eyes are now closing and if I don't post this soon while it's still the 4th of June, Michel-le' is going to send me another threatening message! She sent me this just now..."No ways aunty u can't keep a person hanging like this, 1st u missed Sat no blog!! Now monday is almost over!! No fair! Tell us anything, even if its what u had for supper lol"

Now that's aunty-niece love right there!
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