Helllllllo June!

It feels as though I just posted about Friday on Wednesday and yet here it is again.  Meanwhile, I woke up convinced that it was Saturday!  Errrrrrrrrrrrrr >_< ! 

Today marks the last month of the first half of year 2012, which means that some people are almost halfway through the painful afflictions of their New Year’s Resolutions while others have just abandoned them.  Ditched them by the wayside with nary a care about how that makes a NY Resolution feel.  Exactly like a rock would if you kicked it, I'd presume.  It’s all about being sensible.  And when I say sensible, I mean, realistic.  And the keyword is try.  Never make an outright resolution to do something.  Try gives you room to fail without the guilt of simply quitting.  

Unless your New Year’s Resolution is to break your New Year’s Resolution then by all means, reach for the brightest star in the sky of improbability.  Commit yourself, to yourself and whomever else you were bold enough to tell it to without using the word try.  You might have jusssss looked up to view the pretty little yellow birdie tweeting on top of your head when they began snickering to each other about how for 2012, you shall be elected President of an unnamed, sparsely populated country which you planned to immediately name, Manna.  Unless your name is Moses and you were born in a year that has BC before it, the chances of that happening is well below never and ever.  And without a doubt not before or after the world officially ends, this year.   

And don’t look at me gasping like, “How can you say Moses was the President?”  I never said that.  I am merely asummmmmming!  Which is what you do when you're unsure.  We actually were not told who the President was so I’m free to believe what I wish until I am told otherwise.  Freedom of belief through lack of knowledge and plenty of assumption!  A rather deliciously dangerous mixture right there!  However, I do know that there was a King!  Here we have Kings annnd Presidents and an abundance of wives and offspring to match.  Kings that we never ever…okay nevermind, all that’s important is that we have Kings and Presidents here.  So I've now demonstrated, very easily, that my assumption is not impossible. 

And if he wasn’t, then he should have been.  I would wholly support a man who freed me and my people from a wicked Pharoah and then guided us through parted waters.  Can your President do that?  He won’t even have you over for tea...or me!  Not even on the sidewalk in front of the White House, or wherever our President lives this week.  Is it Soweto or Sandton?  Aldorado Park?  No?  Aahh well, long as he is in a house, that’s all that matters!

Talking about the White House…we walked for nine hours straight.  Me and Ali.  Ali and I.  Both of us.  Not even the Comrades Marathon lasts that long!  Touring The National Mall, is not for the faint at heart, lemme tell you that. You will faint and be heartsore because it’s not actually a mall.  They make it look only as big as an A3 page in the brochures.  Oooooh-wooooo believe it NOT I telya!  Plus it was hotter than hell!  No, that was Vegas.  That's why they call that Sin city.  Washington was a lot cooler, more like just blistering!  Nine hours walking a mall that has no stores in the blistering heat with jeans on?  My mouth curved downwards and that's not a good thing!  Would I do it again?  YES, I would!  Only because I love wearing jeans. 

Now in Vegas?  They had a mall that sold jeans!  With aircon.  Ohhhhh, don't be so literal!  How can jeans have aircon?  Although you'd make a killing in Vegas if you sold jeans with aircon!  And we were banished to that beautiful mall because we were afraid that we would start blistering. Reminded me so much of Washington.  DC Tourism are displeased right now with me sitting here telling you that a blister reminds me of Washington but hey?  Nobody said call it a mall.  I'm a woman scorned and those kinds of things?  I do take literally!  Don't you know the saying..."A hungry woman (led to believe that she's going to a MALL), is an angry woman."  No?  SMH, you really need to read more. 

Las Vegas though?  Who thought that the desert would be so hot in Summer.  No-one told us.  We were tourists!  We only know our weather.  Too many secrets and not enough shade.  We saw first hand that what happens in Vegas stays in Vegas...I never contemplated for a second that that would include any relevant info about its weather too!  Plus we wore sweatsuits!  That was just cruel.  Did you know that they serve drinks free in the casino's if you're gambling?  Even if you pretend to be gambling!  Make sure that when you place your order, that your dollar bill is facing the slit of the slot!  I'm not a drinker on any noteworthy level.  I'm like the tittle on top of an “i” written with a stuttering pen, as far as drinking goes but I thought, “Aaargh, what the heck, I’m in Vegas, I’ll do azzzz”  Let my hair down.  It was short and didn't even touch my ears.  More importantly, I needed something to take my mind off just how my body was sweltering under my sweatsuit!  My only plan miscalculation there was that I completely missed the fact that it would send my discomfort level skyrocketing!  BUT?!?!  I was saved by good company.

And because we were on a budget, we stayed in a hotel, The Frontier Hotel and Casino, that was about to be demolished...we each said a silent prayer that the sun would set at 2pm, pleeeeeeeeease, we said, but also that everybody involved with the demolition had their dates and schedules in sync.  Since I'm not emailing these blogs from my office in heaven, they did a great job of it.  Kudos!  So in essence we were like The Last of the Mohecans: The Final Frontier! I was thrilled to see the back of Vegas though. Not because its a horrible place to visit, I just quite enjoy my eyeballs unfried.